Some Thoughts On Infertility

January 19th, 2017

In case you missed the memo, I am five months pregnant with our first, a miracle little girl.  I think we are both still in a bit of shock that I am actually pregnant, even with my rapidly expanding belly. I did not share with many people at all that we were struggling.  Blame past experiences (like this one) but it is hard for me to trust or hear commentary at times.  It’s not always helpful.

I am certainly no expert and I think everyone’s journey is very personal.  Not one experience pertains to all.  With that being said, I have some things I’ve learned through our three years of waiting:

YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST MEDICAL ADVOCATE 

This one took me awhile to figure out, but for a time I was waiting on doctors.  My sweet friend encouraged me to start taking steps on my own: do some research, see a specialist.  Don’t wait for someone to tell you what to do.  You know your own body and if you think something’s not right, go the extra mile.

HAVE AN INFERTILITY FRIEND

This one is key and happened to fall in my lap, but a precious friend who was also struggling came into my life at the perfect time. It’s funny because we are both extremely private people, but managed to open up about our struggles.  Having someone who was a little ahead of the curve was also amazing. She had already done several treatments, medications, etc and could give me very real and sound advice.  Not to mention, being able to talk to someone who understands is KEY. We went so far as to fast every Friday for nearly a year, praying for those sweet babies.  You know what’s amazing? She’s now also pregnant with a little girl, due nearly the same day as me.  Apparently God was listening.

SOMEONE ELSE’S VICTORY IS NOT YOUR DEFEAT 

I’m pretty sure the above sweet friend taught me this, but someone else’s story has nothing to do with your own.  If someone close to you get’s pregnant, they did not take your child.  It has nothing to do with your chances.  For some reason this gave me a tremendous amount of comfort and allowed me to fully celebrate with close friends on their good news.

IT’S OKAY TO BE MAD

I had a major surgery, got a clean bill of health, and yet nothing happened.  We proceeded with a fertility treatment that at the time, looked like it was going to be twins.  I thought, ” Well surely we will get one!” Nope, nothing.  I went to my parents house and sobbed, telling my dad how mad I was.  He had the perfect reply, telling me yes, go ahead and get mad.  That really helped in an unexpected way.

You know what else made me mad? Hearing reports on the news of how “These parents gave their kids heroin to help them sleep at night!” and yet we were not getting pregnant.  Acknowledging the frustration of the situation somehow took the edge off for me.

PREGNANCY DOES NOT MAKE ME COMPLETE

I think the hardest part of the whole ordeal was the unknown.  Were we supposed to have kids? Was this God’s plan or were we not fit to be parents? Were we bad people? Thankfully I had several people tell me no and not to waste time over-analyzing (aka unproductive thinking). Whether we had kids or not, I am a complete person.  I am fully who God intended me to be: single or married, working or at home, mom or kid free!

DON’T ASK PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS

I cannot stress this enough, but do not ask anyone when they are going to have kids.  When you think about it, this is an EXTREMELY personal question that can often place the person in a very awkward situation.  They may be having problems… or you know what? They may not! You may not want to have children at all, which is a completely acceptable life choice.  We had finally reached the point that we thought it was not our plan.  We were not meant to have kids and we were okay with it.  Just don’t ask…

If you’re struggling with infertility, I hope you hang in there.  For me, it was a very lonely struggle and a tough place to be.  God has a heart for those spots and tends to provide accordingly.  I had some friends show up at KEY times that looking back was clearly Spirit led.  In the meantime, I am praying for you.

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Header image via Taylor Meyer Photography

A Quick How-To Style

January 17th, 2017

It’s no secret that I love how to style tips, especially when it comes to consoles.  Most of the items shown are on discount (like that Target mirror currently on sale!). The key to great style is layering.  This mash up has a fun mix of color and texture.  Shop the look here!

Shop: console, mirror, lamp, flowers, candle, ottoman, book

Hope your week is off to a great start!

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So it’s the new year, and you want a new look (but maybe you don’t have the budget!).  Here are a few cost effective ways to change up your interior for 2017:

PAINT

Paint is the easiest way to make a big impact. If you’re willing to put in some sweat equity, you can completely change a room for $50 or less. If you’re not sure which direction to go, head straight to the back of the paint deck.  Benjamin Moore’s Historical Collection are all beautiful, safe choices.  If you want to go gray and aren’t sure, HC-172 Revere Pewter is stunning.  In general, light colors make a room look larger, and darker will give a more cozy feel.

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NEW PILLOWS

I’ve done this several times with our formal living room.  If you’re tired of the look, completely change your pillows.  There is quite a bit on sale right now thanks to after holiday deals. These are currently an extra 40% off the sale price. I recommend these to clients ALL THE TIME.

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FRESH STYLING

I’m a big fan of strategic styling and I tend to freshen up our coffee tables quite a bit.  Add a new tray and some fresh flowers from Trader Joe’s.  Move some candles around or add a fresh stack of books.  Even the smallest changes can help keep it fresh.

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If you have the time and motivation, throw up some paint and do a Target run.  Little changes can go a long way!

Happy 2017 to you!

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Imagery sourcing: 1, 2, 3

I think many of us can agree, 2016 was not our favorite. This year has been a tough one for me that miraculously, is ending on a high note.  My faith hit an all time low and is now on the upswing. Let me fill you in:

JANUARY

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My sweet friend and junior year college roommate, Alicia, lost her two year battle with brain cancer on the 15th.  I spent my New Years Eve at her bedside, telling her goodbye and having one of the most heart warming and intense conversations. She was nothing but a positive light in the world and I was in no way prepared for the possibility for her death.  I knew she would be fine… so when she was not, it was very hard to take. Her husband called to tell me they were at the end of the road and I stopped walking in the middle of Dallas Lovefield Airport and bawled my eyes out.

I’m so thankful for the opportunity I had to spend time with her and talk during her sickness. My one major point of advice is not to ignore it if you have a similar situation.  Reach out and tell them you love them. I spoke at her memorial and then hopped on a plane with my sister back to Denver, and started a round of fertility medicine on the plane…

They also finally broke ground on our new house. Things were starting to get real in that department.

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FEBRUARY

Tim and I had been trying to have a baby since 2013. After a major surgery and a now clean bill of health, nothing was happening. We did a second round of fertility that failed, and after losing my sweet friend I was starting to wonder where God was. It felt like I was on hold or He had taken a lunch break. I am not one to doubt, but this brought on a intense low. I looked at Tim and said, “Let’s go on a vacation instead of spending any more money on this.” So we did.

APRIL

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I spent the next few months focusing on my health and getting in shape for vacation.  We went to Hawaii to stay with my in-laws and had a fantastic time.  We tried to do things we had never done, so we swam with sharks, went on a dinner cruise, biked down a volcano and spent a few days in Maui. It was really nice and just what we needed. We came home and our house had framing:

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MAY-JUNE

After vacation we immediately started preparing our current home for sale.  We had been building since last June, and the time had finally come.  It was an insane amount of work, but thankfully our home sold in a matter of days.

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We moved into that house at a time where both of us were impressed we were able to afford it and not be in an apartment.  We put a lot of work and love into it, which payed off big time.  I am so thankful for such a sweet spot to begin our marriage.  We celebrated a lot of milestones there. We moved in with my parents for three weeks while our new home was finishing, and I began an installing season. Three projects finished in nearly three weeks of each other, right around our move.

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JULY – AUGUST

We moved into our new house. It still seems like someone is going to come to the door and tell us to go home. It took so long and so much work it’s surreal for it to be here, but we love it.  It functions beautifully and for some reason, Tim and I spend a lot more time together in this house.  Our kitchen has a small office to the side, and it’s perfect for my side client work.  I used to have to go to the basement, but now we can be in the same room and I can still get my work done. We love it. This picture more than accurately describes our mood at the end of the move:

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SEPTEMBER

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We celebrated my sweet sister’s birthday at Del Frisco’s and for some reason, I couldn’t eat my dinner.  I LOVE Del Frisco’s, but the food seemed heavy and strange…the next day I figured out I was pregnant. It was a complete surprise, and I think we’ve both been in shock ever since. Nearly three years, God provided on His own timing.  We are grateful and very excited. I spent the next few months trying not to be sick and to keep the secret. 

DECEMBER

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I’m now over four months pregnant.  Work is better than ever and I’m looking forward to a very promising 2017.  Praying that we will be good parents and continue to grow stronger as a pair.  I’m so thankful for all the sweet friends that encouraged me this year.  I appreciate it more than you know.

Cheers to 2017!

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2016 Christmas Cards

December 21st, 2016

Maybe it’s the southerner in me, but I love a holiday card.  I love the life updates and new photos of our sweet friends. This year I had to rush to get photos taken since I was already starting to show.  Thanks to an easy mini session with Taylor Meyer Photography, our photos are perfect. After an honestly very tough year, they really capture our current excitement.  I went with Tiny Prints again, and loved their glitter series.

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I also added the fun snowflake envelope liner and address printing.  This was the first year I didn’t write them all out myself and my goodness… why haven’t I utilized this before?! Such a time saver (and much cuter than I would have done myself).

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Tiny Prints is still offering 40% off rush delivery along with 25% off site wide with code SAVENOW but it ends today! Jump on it my friends.  I love their cards. Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

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Imagery personal to DBK, via Taylor Meyer Photography

Fibonacci Tree House

December 19th, 2016

This week’s architectural reading led to the discovery of Blue Forest, a tree house construction and design company. They specialize in luxury tree houses and unique sustainable buildings.  The one I’m featuring today is located in Spain and modeled after the Fibonacci Spiral.  The space has a kitchen and large sliding glass doors to open the inside to the outdoors.  There are also four decks and a large slide.  The property faces the clients villa and further incorporates the open space to their property.

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So fun.  You can find out more about Blue Forest here.

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All imagery via Blue Forest

Friday Wrap Up

December 16th, 2016

Well I don’t know about you but I am exhausted.  EXHAUSTED.  Thank you, Lord for Friday.  This weekend Denver temps are dipping into the single digits, so I will be hiding out underneath my heated blanket with Netflix. Hope you’ve had a wonderful week! Here’s some links for your Friday:

I’m newly obsessed with The Mortified Podcast.  Check this one out

Did you catch my Gift Guide for the men in your life on The Zhush?

Did you hear how much Jimmy Kimmel is getting paid to host the Oscars?

As someone who travels all the time, this made me laugh too hard

I’m in dire need of new black work shoes. Looking at these, these and these

Did you catch all my last minute gifts under $20? Look here

I still need this sweatshirt

I can’t even handle these

This year’s White House holiday decor

I cannot get over the insanity of this meeting

I need to snag this before it sells out

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Image found here

Last Minute Gifts Under $20

December 15th, 2016

Shop: scarf, coloring book, phone case, coasters, paper weight, box, earrings, beanie, mug, polish, cheese board

Holy smokes… Christmas is almost here.  This year has been insane for me and I can’t believe it’s almost over.  It’s been a blur to say the least.  With that, December has flown too and if you’re anything like me you might be scrambling on some last minute gifts.  Today I have 10+ items all under $20! You can’t beat that (and this is where I get tempted to grab one for myself). Happy shopping!

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If you need some inspiration today, you don’t want to miss the portfolio of Marie Flanigan Interiors. Marie is a Texas based interior designer (one of my people!) and was a Style Spotter at this year’s Highpoint Market.  I had the pleasure of hearing her speak at the Style Spotter’s breakfast and was instantly impressed.  She notes on her website that they like to bring beauty to their clients not only through the interiors, but through the experience with their firm.  So lovely.  Take a look:

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You cannot beat talent and integrity! Give their firm a look here.

Happy Wednesday.

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Katy

KATY


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